Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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