Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
