i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
