Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
