A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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