i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
