Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
