as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We need a shit load of segways right now
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
