goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
