I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
