you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
