Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
