I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
