How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
