Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
