I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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