just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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