When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
