You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Damn victory sex feels great
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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