Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
