Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
