she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
