Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
