If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
