fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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