awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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