You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
