My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
