Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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