I CAN MOONWALK!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
