Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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