I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize