My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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