You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
what the fuck happened to the tacos
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
