Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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