had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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