If i come over, it means nothing
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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