the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
