Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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