your room smells of hookers.
And success
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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