We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize