Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
