im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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