there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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