dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
