Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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