For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
