I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
