Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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