C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
