wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
