How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
