I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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