weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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