I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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