One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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