it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
