Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
